Kelly’s NeverLand

Humane
- adjective
1. characterised by tenderness, compassion and sympathy for people and animals, esp. for the suffering or distressed

Humanity
-noun
1. The quality of being humane ;kindness;benevolence

Frankly speaking, how many of us fall into the above definitions? Most urban dwellers are so caught up by the bread & butter of life to bother, or worst still, living in a self-created illusionory world.

I often reflect. Have my existence made the world a better place? Have I contributed in any way in improving some other people’s life?

Sometimes when I look at models, celebrities, magazines, beauty products etc, I really think its very senseless and superficial. There are people in the world suffering in poverty, dying ofdiseases, struggling to survive and here we are going "Wow" over the latest Winter fashion, spending money and time on cosmetics which by the way, "took years of research, has created a revolution in the beauty industry and taken the world by storm etc etc".

Some people spend their lives donning themselves with the most fashionable gear, hanging out with "good-looking people" only, going to the most happening parties, and have the reputation of being a HOT chick/hunk  and then..?

I used to look forward to such a "high-flying" life ‘cos I thought it was so glamourous. I met some people who really lived life like that. I din’t admire them nor did I envy them. For me, it was hard to even respect some of them.  Why? ‘Cos when I talk to them, I find them so superficial, so caught up with minute things that do not even add value to themselves as human beings.

Im not saying they’re inhumane. Its just that there’s nothing  much humane about them. The glam, the style, not even the X-factor, can hide the lack of humanity in them.

I was the always the goody-two-shoes back in school. A student leader with decent grades and well, enough true friends to help me out when I need some aid.

But frankly, I always had a rebellious streak in me. I knew there was more to life than studying,tv,boybands and hanging out at the mall. I want to know what life was about and to experience "life",I rebelled, broke rules and did crazy things which I never thought I had the courage to. My entire adolescene life became a drama serial and roller coaster ride.

I ran away from home, held multiple jobs and studied at the same time and had my parents pulling their hair. No, I wasn’t the uncouth Ah Lian who hung out all day at Orchard puffing cigarettes in skimpy black tops. I don’t have vulgarities flying out of my mouth nor did I get into fights.

I wasn’t the girl my parents had hoped/expected me to me…

I was just the girl who wanted to do what she wanted to do.

I got into serious trouble with my impulsiveness and brashness.

I’m not smart but I’m not stupid either, having gone through my fair share of ups and downs.

And most importantly, I fell in love…got hurt real bad…hurt some others real bad.

Im still a risk-taker though…but when it comes to love…I think twice…

Cos I know what can seem so real, so true now, can become mere memories in a matter of weeks/months…

我喜欢看你的故事,因为我从你身上看到我自己…

和你一样,我长普普通通,不文雅,不秀气,又粗鲁,说话总是大大声的…常常会因为自己的傻事,粗心,闹出笑话…

但我们并不好欺负,因为倔强不认输的个性,总会想法子挽回面子…虽然这样是有点幼稚…

恋爱总是会让我们做出一些自己都意想不到的事.爱情往往会在不知不觉中,悄悄地降临,而当你发现时,可能已经太迟了…

第一次看到男生不太顺眼…但渐渐的,就觉得还不错…关系慢慢变得有些暧昧…

会觉得自己的情绪都不在自己的控制中,很无奈,却又不想/无力挣脱.

现实敲响警钟时,原来做了一场轰轰烈烈的梦..

Its been seven months since I last blogged, that’s as long as the time I’ve been out of the clubbing scene. (Any takers here?)

So much has happened in the past months that I hardly have time to truly reflect and revel in them. Some "first-time"s were lost, some I told myself would be the last(hopefully), some "lost and found"s (not necessarily something to be glad about)…

I’ve changed so much that I hardly believe that I’m the same person who returned from US in January. Most of me for the better, or so I believe. It’s scary to realise that people (including myself) can just change so quickly. To a certain extent, its saddening. It challenges some truths, some "should be-s" that I’ve always believed in. And its disappointing to know that only a minority adhere by the "truth".

But oh well…memories are really JUST MEMORIES…

I can only do my best to not tarnish it by pretending to be suave and exit gracefully…